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  1. 当前位置: 主页 > 搞笑语录 > 100句超级爆强的搞笑语录

    100句超级爆强的搞笑语录

    时间:2018-04-25 19:33 来源:语录大全 点击:

    1、生,容易。活,容易。生活不容易。


    2、天大地大,房子就是不降价。


    3、要想皮肤好,天天烹炸炒。


    4、听君一席话,回家烤白薯。


    5、生的伟大,死的廉价。


    6、站长更高,尿得越远。


    7、别跟我谈感情,谈感情伤钱。


    8、混吃的人往往都比较长寿。


    9、男人要有女人缘,低三下四多挣钱。


    10、感激伤害我们的人,让他们内疚起吧。


    11、好马不吃回头草,所以好马总挨饿。


    12、流氓不可怕,就怕流氓有文化。


    13、顾客就是个屁,放一放就顺气。


    14、家事国事天下事,没钱吃饭是大事!


    15、原谅第三者要比原谅同性恋容易。


    16、你长得真蟀,比蛐蛐好看多了。


    17、我用扯蛋的幸福面对世间的残酷


    18、男人最忌讳放空枪。多留点子弹给敌人。


    19、生活就像大便干燥,你使点劲,过后就舒服了。


    20、有的人你和他客气,他就拿你当垃圾。


    21、我和超人的唯一区别是:我把内裤穿在里面了。


    22、爱情就是我不嫌你装,你别嫌我脏。


    23、只要你选择歪门邪道,口袋钞票就往外冒。


    24、与狼共舞的羊们,别忘了自己的身份。


    25、有的人本身就没味,做饭能有味吗?


    26、别再给我介绍对象了,我已经戒了。


    27、你给我匀点肉,别总没事偷着胖。


    28、拿夏利当法拉利开你找死呀小子。


    29、泼妇总是出现在公共场所耍二百五。


    30、小样,长得挺暧昧的,就是身材有点颓废。


    31、水能载舟,亦能煮粥!


    32、你哭你使劲哭没事,我们家水表早就不走字了。


    33、你知道我长得像谁吗?葛优的头发,梁天的眼,成龙的鼻子,舒淇的嘴。


    34、曹操得不了天下,因为他太爱骂街。


    35、你什么时候请我吃饭,一会我就出去给你买袋干脆面。


    36、水至清则无鱼,人至贱则无敌。


    37、我和脂肪做斗争,差点没牺牲。


    38、请不要把我对你的容忍,当成你不要脸的资本。


    39、解释就是掩饰,掩饰就是讲故事。


    40、我一失足成大瘸子,再回首又闪了腰。


    41、我不喜欢整理房间,他们都叫我乱室英雄。


    42、人贵在言而有信——我说不还钱就不还钱!


    43、八戒,别以为你站在路灯下就是夜明猪了。


    44、夏天就是不好,穷的时候连西北风都没得喝,幸亏现在是秋天了。


    45、没有不透风的墙,没有不能上吊的梁。


    46、再丑也要谈恋爱,谈到世界充满爱。


    47、我知道,天下无不散宴席,可是,至少,宴席上我要吃得爽!


    48、拜托不要叫他动脑子好不好--左脑全是水,右脑全是面粉,不动便罢了,一动全是浆糊。


    49、愚者坐以待毙,智者坐以待币。


    50、每当我错过一个女孩,我就在山上放一块砖,于是,这世界便有了长城。


    51、世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死也不是相爱不知,是冬天被窝里和被窝外的距离。


    52、水壶啊,你为什么哭泣,是因为屁股太烫了吗?


    53、女人胖是丰满,瘦是苗条,高是修长,矮是秀气。男人胖是猪,瘦是排骨,高是竹竿,矮是冬瓜!


    54、我的心不是公交车,不是有空位你就坐下来。


    55、别人手牵手,我牵我的狗,走一走,游一游,看谁不爽咬两口。


    56、我心中一直有个疑惑,5年了,整整5年了,灰太狼都是吃什么活下去的…


    57、要懂得珍惜守护身边的每个人,因为前世扭断脖子的回眸,我们才换来了今生的相遇。


    58、不经历星期一上午的崩溃,就不知道星期五下午的可贵。


    59、真正的勇士要敢于正视漂亮的美眉,敢于直面惨淡的单身。


    60、我觉得一定有很多人暗恋我,因为这么多年了,也没有人跟我表白!


    61、成功三要素:1、坚持;2、不要脸;3、坚持不要脸。你做到了么?


    62、心情不好的时候,那就上厕所,上完之后,面部狰狞的对着马桶说:“你给我吃屎吧你!”然后猛冲厕所。


    63、上课的区别:小学上课费嘴,初中上课费笔,高中上课费脑,大学上课费流量……


    64、一个人最长的恋爱史,大概就是自恋了…


    65、外遇和艳遇的区别在于,前者在一起了后者没有。


    66、天塌下来你顶着,我垫着!


    67、废话是人际关系的第一句。


    68、在傻瓜眼里,聪明人的聪明一文不值。


    69、钱不是问题,问题是没钱!


    70、只要锄头舞的好,那有墙角挖不倒?


    71、有钱男子汉,没钱汉子难。


    72、遇见喜欢的,就得主动犯个贱。


    73、胖子的心声:嘴里很享受,心里很想瘦。


    74、对女人不好的男人,下辈子都投胎做卫生巾去!


    75、我身在江湖,但江湖里却没有我的传说。


    76、自打我变成了一叠屎,就再也没有人敢踩在我头顶上啦。


    77、你的丑和你的脸没有关系。


    78、长得真有创意,活得真有勇气!


    79、早起的鸟儿有虫吃,早起的虫儿被鸟吃!


    80、下辈子我还找你,因为除了我,你是最傻的。


    81、我视金钱为粪土,父母视我为化粪池!


    82、我有一条很酷的迷你裙,可惜我的腿不够迷你。


    83、猛的一看你不怎么样,仔细一看还不如猛的一看。


    84、别和我聊人生,和我聊生人吧!


    85、生命是充满遗憾的篇章,因为她没有机会让你修改病句。


    86、老婆持家太苦太累,所以老婆只一个是不够的!


    87、突然想要个孩子了,你们谁帮我生一个?谢谢啦!


    88、我的领带又找不到了,是不是你昨天又没有找到抹布?


    89、不是每句对不起,都能换来没关系。


    90、舌头比牙齿更长寿,软件比硬件更加长久。


    91、开车无难事,只怕有新人。


    92、爷爷都是从孙子走过来的。


    93、当头晕的时候我终于明白了什么叫爱情。


    94、女人一哭,男人必输。


    95、天大地大,房子就是不降价。


    96、宁愿相信世间有鬼,也不相信男人那张破嘴!


    97、男人的谎言可以骗女人一夜,女人的谎言可以骗男人一生!


    98、也许似乎大概是,然而未必不见得。


    99、一山不能容二虎,除非一公和一母。


    100、我想早恋,但是已经晚了。


    文章标题:100句超级爆强的搞笑语录

    文章地址:http://www.jia6jia.com/gaoxiaoyulu/9593.html 版权所有,转载请注明出处。


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